—George Orwell
Yeah, that's about right.
Now that I have finished my first book, I'd thought I'd take a minute to write down what I've learned. This is not for you, dear reader. This is for me. Because I am going to forget all of it the minute the demon knocks on my door again, and I'll need this list for reference. You can use it, too, if you like. ;)
1. I don't know what I'm doing.
I have never sat down to write and thought to myself "Ah, yes. I have a plan. I can tell what is about to transpire and it is going to be TOTALLY DOPE." Not even once. I've had an inkling. A general idea of what needs to happen. But the clearer the mental image at the outset of the writing session, the more disobedient my characters became. You're going to use this character to reveal the nature of the as-yet-unknown enemy? Nope. Another character totally just killed him. You're going to get your MC from point A to point B? Nope. He wanted an ice cream cone. Rude. Take away: DO NOT PROCRASTINATE UNTIL "YOU FEEL READY." YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO FEEL IN CONTROL. SIT DOWN AND WRITE.
2. Gandalf is my friend.
Throughout this journey, whenever that mysterious villain we call "writer's block" would jump up in my path, there was a concrete reason for it to be changing my course. A better way to tell this particular part of the story was lurking in my subconscious, and the frustrating gatekeeper would not let the crap be written instead. Writer's block, when seen as nothing more than a road sign to better writing, is my friend. Therefore, from now on, I will refer to Writer's block as Gandalf. The real enemy is the Balrog of Bad Writing.
Take away: TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS, YOU DINGBAT. STOP WASTING TIME WALLOWING IN SELF LOATHING. SIT DOWN AND WRITE.
3. Writing is like doing the dishes.
There is a mounting pile of dirty dishes surrounding my sink. I could clean them, but it is just so tedious. I'll keep hemming and/or hawing, whilst giving the growing pile the side-eye, for another day or two. Then I'll remember that I'm in charge of the cleaning, and that if I don't do it, it just won't get done. I'll probably give this battle one last tired feminist rant, then shuffle into the kitchen resentfully. And I'll pick up the sponge. And it won't be that bad! And when I'm done, and the counter is sparkling, I'll be happy. Writing is the same. Push through to rough draft. It's so much easier after that. You'll be happy you did.
Take away: YOU ACTUALLY LIKE WRITING, SO SIT DOWN AND WRITE.
4. You have four children.
Go on. Count them. There are four of them. You're holding one right now, and he'd really prefer he had your full attention. Life just isn't going to march to the beat of your pretty little drum, and that's okay. You won't get to write every night. You might not even get to write every week. You know the children come first because YOU made the choice to put them first. Forgive yourself for being slow. Life is not a race. That's why you're self-publishing. Drive your Strugglebus in the slow lane; at least you're still moving forward.
Take away: YOU ARE ONLY ONE PERSON, SO LEAVE THE PERFECTIONISM BEHIND AND SIT DOWN AND WRITE!
So yeah. Remember all that for book two.
Roll for initiative,
Jamie Wahl
